Catalyst
by stemilytrash
Summary: She didn't expect him to make it over tonight. If she was going to be honest with herself she hadn't expected him to try. She'd expected him to reply with 'can't make it, can this wait until we see each other at work' instead, which wouldn't have been until the end of the week and she couldn't wait that long. This was something that they needed to talk about right now, in private.


**A/N:** Another installment in the Forbidden Love series. This happens a little while after Half of My Heart and way before Here Without You.

* * *

 **Catalyst**

6pm

 _ **Her:**_ _I need to see you tonight. Can you come over when you're done for the day?_

 _ **Him:**_ _You know I can't, hon. My family's here for the week._

 _ **Her:**_ _I need to see you tonight. Please. It's important._

 _ **Him:**_ _I'll see what I can do. No promises. I'll call you later when I get the chance._

 _ **Her:**_ _I'll be waiting. XX_

* * *

He put his phone down and sighed, these weren't messages from a jealous mistress. He knew her well enough to know that she'd never ask him to break one of the rules they'd agreed to after that first night together, when they decided that this relationship was something they both wanted to go ahead with. So if she said that this was important, then it had to be serious enough for her to ask him if he could sneak over to her apartment while his family were in town with him.

They hadn't seen each other all week. Their work schedules were the complete opposite of each other. He was working late afternoons and all through the night, while she was working her regular hours during the day, so their paths never crossed.

Usually that didn't matter. They'd started sneaking into each others offices during their lunch breaks, stealing precious moments with each other. Sometimes they'd just sit holding each other, melting into each other and enjoying the comfort and intimacy of the moment. Other times passion would take hold of them, and they'd give into the longing and desire they'd felt for each other all day. But this week he'd been working at another location on the other side of the city. There was no way he could make it to their offices and back across town, and have time to be with her in an hour.

He missed her terribly. His body ached for her. Every inch of him craved her touch, her taste, her smell.

He missed how he fit perfectly between her thighs when lay on top of her, naked. The way she'd tease him about being too heavy after they'd made love and pushing him off of her before climbing on top of him.

He missed the quick little kisses and touches they stole from each other at work when no one was watching. The secret thrill he got knowing that they could easily get caught, but not caring because even though it was wrong, it felt so right.

When she'd texted him, he'd been getting ready to call it a night. He'd finished early for a change and had already made plans with his wife.

The only way he could go to her was if he lied to his wife. He could tell her that something came up at work, and that he had to cancel on her. It would be so easy.

But this was one of the first rules they'd agreed on; that he'd never lie to his family or cancel any plans he had with them, so he could spend time with her.

He realised he was being hypocritical. Being unfaithful to his wife was the worst kind of lie, but in his mind it was different. This was something that was happening behind her back… and just because he didn't mention it didn't really make it a lie, did it?

He sat at his desk wondering how he could go see her. His wife would see right through him if he tried to lie about it. He decided the best option was to go out for a midnight run, one that would take him to her apartment. It wouldn't be the first time he went running late at night, it was something he did occasionally when he had trouble sleeping.

* * *

9pm

 _ **Him:**_ _Sorry I couldn't get away. I'll come around after midnight._

 _ **Her:**_ _I'll wait up. Let yourself in and if I'm asleep please wake me up. We really need to talk._

 _ **Him:**_ _See you in a few hours. Love you._

 _ **Her:**_ _Love you too._

* * *

She didn't expect him to make it over tonight. If she was going to be honest with herself she hadn't expected him to try. She'd expected him to reply with _'can't make it, can this wait until we see each other at work'_ instead, which wouldn't have been until the end of the week and she couldn't wait that long.

This was something that they needed to talk about right now, in private. She couldn't risk anyone at work overhearing what she had to tell him.

She didn't want him thinking that she was one of those clingy girlfriends, correction, mistresses who would use any excuse and do whatever it took to get their lover's attention. Not that she would need to, ever. She knew she always had his attention whenever they were in the same room, even before they'd started this affair.

She was exhausted but couldn't bring herself to relax. She'd been pacing nervously around the living room since he'd texted her. It would still be a few hours before he came over- _if_ he came over. There was always the possibility that he wouldn't be able to make it over.

She wondered how he'd react to what she had to tell him. Would he be mad, worried or both?

How did she tell him? Did she sit him down and tell him, or blurt it out as soon as he walked in? Maybe she should just show him, let him figure it out himself.

She rubbed her temples and took a deep breath. All this stressing out wasn't good for her right now. Maybe she should lie down while she waited for him. It was getting late and she needed to be up early tomorrow, not that she'd be able to sleep but at least she'd be getting some much needed rest.

* * *

"Honey, wake up." he whispered, his hand gently caressing her face.

She let out a soft moan and slowly opened her eyes. It was still dark, which meant she hadn't slept through the night. He hadn't turned the lights on but she could still make out the shape of his bodysitting at the edge of her bed, his hand still cupping the side of her face that was exposed to him caressing her cheek. "What time is it?" she murmured, still half asleep.

"A little after one." he replied. "I feel guilty for waking you up. You looked like you needed the rest."

"No, it's fine. I'm glad you woke me because we _really_ need to talk." she said quickly.

She pulled herself up in a sitting position and he leaned in brushing his lips against hers. "I've missed you." he whispered against them, savouring the taste of her. "So much."

"I've missed you too." She whispered back, opening her mouth and granting him access, allowing him deepen the kiss.

He pulled himself away from her reluctantly. Because as much as he wanted to make love to her all night, he couldn't stay for long. Maybe after they talked, they could have a midnight quickie before he left. "So what did you want to talk to me about?" he asked breathlessly.

She shut her eyes, taking a deep breath. She was glad he hadn't turned on the light yet or he would have seen the fear and worry in her eyes.

She didn't know how to break it to him. How did you tell the man you loved that two words would change his life forever, and probably not for the best.

How would they keep their affair a secret after this?

What if he decided that this was too much for him to handle, and left her to deal with this all alone?

The butterflies in her stomach were making her sick. She raised a hand covering her mouth. "Oh god." she mumbled through her fingers.

"Hey, are you ok?" he asked, reaching out to touch her forehead with one hand while turning on the lamp on the bedside table with the other. "You don't look too-"

She didn't give him a chance to finish. She leapt out of bed and darted into the bathroom, making sure she locked the door. She didn't want him to see her like this, not yet. Not until she told him. She wanted to blame this sudden bout of nausea and vomiting on nerves, but she knew better.

There was a knock on the bathroom door seconds later. He could hear her retching on the other side. "Honey, can you please let me in?" he asked, his voice full of concern. "I wanna make sure you're ok."

"I'm fine." she called out, her voice hoarse. "I'll be out in a minute."

A few minutes later he heard the door unlock and waited for her to come back into the bedroom.

She came back in looking pale. He rushed over to her and helped her back to her bed. He sat her down on the edge and handed her a glass of water. "Drink this." he ordered.

She took the glass from his outstretched hand and thanked him. She managed a few small sips and put the glass down onto the bedside table.

He sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, hugging her close. "I thought you were over the flu."

"About that." She leaned her head onto his shoulder and took a deep breath. "I guess I should just tell you and get it over and done with." She opened her mouth to say more, but the words wouldn't come out and decided that it would be easier to show him.

She reached over to the bedside table and opened the draw, taking something out. "I never had the flu. Turns out it was something else." she said handing him the object she was holding..

He sat there staring blankly at it. He was no stranger to the stick he was now holding. He knew exactly what it was and what the two pink lines on it meant. His heart was pounding loudly in his ears, and he was certain she could hear it too because this changed everything.

It meant that they couldn't keep their relationship a secret anymore. And even if they tried there'd probably be rumors that he was the father of her child. It also meant that if she decided to keep the baby, he'd have a second family.

It was easy enough to do this when it was just the two of them, both consenting adults who knew the consequences of their actions and could handle whatever came their way. But now this was a whole other story. Now there was going to be an innocent child caught in the middle of this mess he'd created. His child, no _their_ child, and he or she didn't ask to be a part of any of this. What were they supposed to do now?

He hadn't moved or said a word. He was still staring at the pregnancy test she'd handed him minutes ago. She wondered what was going through his mind right now. Were they the same thoughts that had kept her up these last few days?

She stood up and started pacing back and forth waiting for him to say something. She'd mentally prepared herself for the worst but she'd be lying to herself if she said she was ready to hear it.

What if he broke it off with her and wanted nothing to do with the baby. Could she blame him if he did? This whole situation wasn't supposed to happen, and now that it had it could break up his marriage and ruin his life.

She was getting impatient, she couldn't wait any longer. She needed to him to say something, anything. She stopped pacing and faced him, her eyes tearing up. "The silence is killing me. You have to say something." she begged.

He tore his eyes away from the pregnancy test and glanced up at her. He could see the fear in her eyes, and he was sure she could see the same fear and terror mirrored in his eyes. All he wanted to do was comfort her and tell her everything would be ok, but how could he when he didn't know if they were going to be ok or not.

"When… no, how did this happen?" he asked, finally finding his voice. "We've been careful every time..."

"Except our first time." she reminded him.

How could it have slipped his mind. The night he told her how he felt about her and they'd made love in her office, they'd both been so lost in the moment they didn't realize that they'd had unprotected sex until it was too late.

He was silent again. Thinking. How could he make this work; assuming she decided to keep the baby. What kind of life could he give this child. If by some miracle they were able to keep their affair a secret after all of this, he knew that he couldn't be a full time father to it. Would he be able to see the baby with in public and pretend it wasn't his? Pretend he didn't want to standing by her side and holding their child.

She started pacing again, watching him, waiting for him. He was probably trying to think of a way out of this mess. She couldn't blame him. It would be easy for him. All he had to do was tell her that it was over between them, and leave her to deal with the fallout.

She didn't want to do this alone. She didn't want to lose him. She knew what she was getting into the second they'd agreed to this relationship and she loved him enough to give him a way out.

She stood in front of him once more trying, and failing, to hold back the tears. "I understand if you want out of this situation, and if you do I need you to say it now so I can figure out what to do next. I know you haven't had time to think this through but I can't have you backing out down the line. Just..." She paused wiping away the tears, "don't ask me to get rid of it, because it's something I can't do."

She turned to go and leave him to think about what he wanted to do. His hands shot out grabbing her hips and pulling her towards him. He put his forehead on her belly, "I would _never ever_ ask you to kill our baby." he whispered tearfully, before placing a kiss where his forehead had been.

He pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. His fingers slid beneath the fabric of the t-shirt she was wearing landing gently onto her stomach. "I know you're afraid, I am too. But I need you to know that I would never abandon you or our baby. We have plenty of time to work things out so I don't want you panicking right now, it's not good for you or the baby. Ok?"

She settled into the comfort of his arms, her face nuzzling into his shoulder and nodded. "Ok." she agreed.

He wanted to stay like this forever. He hated leaving her alone with how worried she was, but it was getting late and he had go back home.

She shifted slightly and lifted her head, running her fingers through his hair "I wish you didn't have to go." she said, reading his mind.

He cupped her cheek and rested his forehead against hers. "Me too." he said softly. "Now I want you to get some rest and we'll talk about this tomorrow."

She brushed a gentle kiss on his lips. "I love you." she murmured against them.

He responded by kissing her back softly, not daring to deepen the kiss and start something he knew he couldn't finish. "I love you too." he said, still holding onto her.

She tried to get up but he wouldn't let go of her. "Babe, you need to leave, you've been here for too long."

"Five more minutes." he whispered, resting his head on her chest. "Just five more minutes."

 _Fin_


End file.
